I`ve talked about struggling with body confidence before, and I`d love to say I`m OK with my body now. But I`ve made progress and realised that real changes can`t come until I change my mindset. Here`s the deal: I used to be skinny and then due to hormonal problems I gained 20 kilograms in a few months. I couldn`t recognize myself in the mirror anymore, and for the first time in my life, I felt hideous. I mean there were always little things I wanted to change, but until my health problems, I felt confident in my skin. It`s sad how often we equivalate our self-worth with our body-image. As I grew more unsatisfied with my body, I focused less on the qualities I liked in myself before. And all that negativity affected my life in ways I could not imagine. I started going out less because everything looked horrible on me. I complained to my husband constantly, and he`s a star for being so patient with me.
I know that some of you might think I exaggerate, I`m not that fat.
( I have 1.54m and 68kg) And probably I`m not. But because I gained these kilograms at once, it was harder to accept them. People were always making jokes that I hardly eat, and now they were saying I should watch my meals. And yes, people can be assholes. Like that cellulite that is so attached to my skin, it`s like a second layer. I could have wallowed in self-pity, but I realised I need to make some changes.
And the first thing I worked on was my mentality. I tried to remember the things that I liked about myself, like my goofy sense of humour or my intelligence. A good personality is worth more than a thousand perfect bodies, and I decided to concentrate on that. Then I focused on physical aspects, like the fact that I have a pretty clear skin. Trying to make the best out of a bad situation, I concurred that my extra weight finally gave me those boobs I never had. I know it might seem minor or trivial, but looking for the smallest things that make you proud can change your mindset completely.
When I got in a better place mentally, I also started to embrace my new body. I stopped dressing for the shape I used to have and looked for things that could fit me now. Lastly, I started making some lifestyle changes that hopefully will be effective in the long run. I know it will be harder to get fit because I`m still struggling with that hormonal imbalance, but I`m motivated. I wanted to regain my original weight, but now I have a new goal. I just want to be happy and healthy. And I know that it can`t happen if I constantly punish myself with negative comments. Granted, there are days when I`m 100% unhappy with what I see in the mirror. But I try to focus on the positive things, and if everything else fails, a killer makeup look will put the focus on your face and not your body. So there`s always that!