In case you’re wondering, this is not an ageist post. One where I think that my life is over because I`m 27 and I can`t find a purpose (
actually looking forward to my 30s, to be honest). No, this post is merely me wondering about the foundation of friendship. About what makes two people click. About how we`re still friends with people we don`t have much in common with. And how we can`t seem to connect with people that share out interests. So here it goes.
The other day I was watching “Friends from College” on Netflix. I`m not going to lie, some scenes are awkward. The characters are all selfish and they`re involved in the most unrealistic situations. I`m not saying it`s a good TV Show, but it made me think. Basically, this is about a group of friends that have been friends in college and how they seem to fall into that state of mind when they`re together. Years later, they still bring out the worst in each other. They make the same stupid mistakes they did when they were young. And it was a bit unsettling to see that sometimes I do that with certain people.
Maybe you`re in this situation as well. You see your old mates and act like you`re 16 again. Which is weird because you`re not that person anymore. You`ve changed. So why do you do that? Maybe it`s because you don`t have anything left in common besides those crazy memories. Like I said, it happens to me sometimes. Whilst I have my good friends, I still keep in touch with people I used to go out 10 years ago. Once we meet though, we realize that there`s not much we can talk about, so we reminisce about the good old times. We go out, do some shots and relive our glory days.
Over the years many of my friendships ended. These were people that I was with daily when I was 16-17. But we each went our road and did not have anything in common anymore. So it seemed pointless to meet just because we were once close. I was tired of reliving glory days. I`m happy with the person I`m now, why would I want to be that insecure teenager again? So I cut people out. I don`t regret that decision, but it gets lonely sometimes.
I have 3-4 close friends with whom I talk regularly. But they`re in Romania. So yeah, I can`t say that I`ve made any real friends all these years I`ve lived in London. I do have people that I go out with sometimes, but not the type of friends you confide in. And I can`t help to wonder why is that? Am I the reason? Or do you just reach a certain point in your life when it`s harder to open up?
10 years ago I did not have many worries. I used to trust everyone around me. But now, even when I befriend someone, we don`t talk about important stuff. With work colleagues, even if you`re on good terms, you mainly talk about work and neutral subjects. Other people, you meet for a meal and you just talk nonsense to enjoy the day. It`s hard to start meaningful relations with others. We spend so much time crafting the perfect life online, yet few people know what`s happening in it.
I don`t know, maybe I`m the problem and I should try more. Do you have trouble making new friends? Let me know in the comments.
P.S. I am away on holiday and I`m back on 17th. I`m not taking my laptop, so I`ll have to reply to your comments after that.