I am one of the worst bloggers out there and I`m not just saying that to gain your sympathy. But I`m the type of person that goes with the flow and has little structure. I know that`s not entirely OK, but at the same time, I believe that too much discipline ruins my creativity. I plan my posts in advance, but when I write them I do as the good ol` Virginia Woolf and go through the whole stream of consciousness process. Granted, my unfiltered ramblings don`t have great literary value, but at least they keep you entertained.
Ok, so where were we? Yesterday I went to Portobello Road Market with my husband. I love vintage clothes and jewellery, so that`s the main reason I wanted to go. But I`ll admit, I wanted to take some pictures in front of the colourful doors as well. And then we got there and I felt a bit underwhelmed. Everywhere you were looking there were these stunning girls that were taking better pictures than the Hadids. And then there was me.
The thing is: I wasn`t always like that. Perhaps I wasn`t a professional, but I knew how to pose. And then everything went to shit when I started gaining weight. Somehow I lost my confidence. And before anyone starts yelling at me: No, I don`t believe that you have to be skinny in order to be confident. That`s not the point of my statement. I`m just saying that it was difficult to adjust to all these changes in such a short time.
Confidence comes from within and sadly, for a long time I`ve let my health problems control my life. In my eyes, I looked like shit so I`ve felt like shit. But I`m working on that. It`s the main reason why I want to do more fashion posts and come out of my shell. And yes, I`ll probably look awkward compared to other people. But that`s fine because we`re all different. Some of us are shy and others are outgoing, but one thing we have in common is that we`d all like to change something about our appearance. And isn`t that sad?
You see, the girls I`ve seen in Portobello were gorgeous. And so many of them were unhappy with their pictures. I have a double chin. I look fat. My left boob is smaller than my right one. Blogging and especially Instagram strive for perfection. I`d probably lie if I said that I don`t want to get the perfect selfie. But I have enough doubts on my own, I don`t need the media ideal of beauty to bring me down. I would agree to a Bruno Mars singing about my perfection though.
Anyways, I`d love to hear your thoughts on the Perfect Instagram Picture. Do you feel confident in front of a camera? Or are you more like me? Smile awkwardly and wave?